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new year.

new year always brought good news and bad news. bad news are the most abundant. the semester starting, the results of the previous semester are coming in, moneys are to be spend for the starting of semester, dan banyak lagi. tak tahu la.

but they brought new hope. new resolutions to be filled.(mine are just the old ones stacked from the previous2 years and brought over)

yada yada..
ok.
new year is great.
ak pun x tau ngarut ap ni.

What's your new year resolutions?

Currently

Currently, i am listening to a few song. give them a try. 

No 1 on my playlist.
Maroon 5 - Runaway
Album : Hands All Over.

Disclaimer; I do not own any of these song.
From youtube.

2. Big Bang - We Belong Together. (out 2006)


Not mine too. I do not own any of these.

3.Michelle Featherstone - Careful
From How i met your mother soundtrack.
Quite a nice song from an artis who doesn't go mainstream.
(maybe she is famous in US.) dunno


same here. not mine.

take a listen. Enjoy.

the door to my heart (Soul Mate)

Whose at the door?

Love.

Sorry I’m closed

But you are still in

Yes but nobody comes in

And why is it so?

For true love finds no door, but make the door of its own, straight into my heart.

Credits to Kyox

i put soul mate in bracket because he is inspired by soul mate (my previous poem)

Soul Mate

Is it over yet?
i will wait for you in this proverbial rain.
where is my silver lining?
they are behind those grey cloud.

is it worth the effort?
you never know what is behind close doors
Should I open it then? Or should it let it be?
Do you like surprises? Life is full of them

Is there such thing as happy ever after?
Will I find myself a person to be comfortable with?
Love is never worth the risk, aren’t they?
Maybe my expectation is too high.

Why do you love me?
Because i love you.
Is there a soul mate for everyone?
Are you implying me your soul mate?
Are you sure that you love me?

Thoughts

reality is an illusion made by man ,
to comfort themselves that such thing exists not.
or is the illusion reality itself,
they offer comfort for broken hearts.

Look up.

Look up.
The sky won’t always be blue
Rain might be falling on you.
But promise me you’ll look up
Because somewhere up there
There will be a sun
Waiting to shine on you.

look up,
the clouds might be grey,
the wind may not breathe,
but promise me you'll look up
Because after the rain and storm
there will be a rainbow,
Waiting to show its beauty to you.


this poem was written and dedicated by a stranger to me. credits goes to the person.
everyone please look up and be happy. there still another day to fight. to those who are devastated cos their observation day gone awry i dedicate this to you too.. =)

Love At First Sight.

The day their eyes met,
something stirred inside,
this meeting, their smile,
those eyes,
hurt from the burning ray,
yet soothing,
the blood flows from the heart
relaying messages to the brain,
to shut himself from rationality
to let the heart jumps,
rather aggresive never suggestive,
how the longing was gone
like it never existed before,
yet in the end,
the moment the fallen leaves
touched the rain filled drain
it ends.
Love at first sight.

owh kengkawan ku.. it has been a very long time i didn't update my blog.. starting again today.. waiting for comments. =)

Car

Where are we going?
Are we there yet?
Why are we turning left?
It is raining, close the window
How long this quietness going to take?
You look tired, let me drive
I’m sorry for the questions
Should I turn here? Or should I go straight?
This quietness is getting louder
Can you turn on the radio?
You’re hungry?
I’ve packed some sandwiches this morning
Turn left here? Okay
This is a cliff, look at the sun
The horizon is blushing, it is beautiful
We come here together
That’s what matter most

happy new year.. wish everyone a great year ahead..
sorry for not updating..

That Space

That space is vacant,
It used to be filled with furniture,
Your mahogany table of patient
Your bed of love
Your chair of comfort
Your closet of fear
Your satin curtains of grace
Your flowery wallpaper of anxiety
That space used to be full,
Now you gone and left me empty.
I tried furnishing it
I remember mimicking the exact position
Yet empty is still the main colour
I renovated everything
Keeping the memory but changing the decoration
It feels good
Knowing I can move on
Knowing I can love others
Different it may be but
It suffice knowing
That somewhere you were treated
With love and kindness

p.s - Have a good day everyone,
know that holiday is coming to an end,
prepare for the worst.

Poet In The Making..

I wake up in the middle of night,
Tonight it feels cold,
The weather seems to be cruel lately,
The clouds parade by trying to comprehend my midnight anecdote,
I tell my story with my eyes
The poignant fable attracts the moth
They seem to understand the loneliness
Cause they attracted to things they should not be too
They know it is hurtful
Yet still they fly to the flame
You’re my flame and I am the moth
I want but I can’t have you
The air feels heavy tonight
I can feel them caressing me
Comforting me, trying to lull me into the night
I breathe them in,
And the stirred emotion came to a halt
The sun peeks in the night giving its light
Telling the moon hope is always there
And one day they will meet again
Wish I could be the sun,
Filled with zealous faith
Waiting in joyful hope
Of the coming of someone special,
Who awaits me in the dark like the moon,
And she will light up my night
So I don’t get lonely anymore

... been taking up poetry lately to pass of my days ...

would like people to give title on it please..

and tell me what u feel..

p.s - happy ramadhan to all muslim and those who aren't happy holiday. Sungkei pwas2 kat bazaar.. huhuhuhuh

aku marah giler ni!!!

Have you guys done things that you guys put so much work on n people spoil it?

u must have.. xkan x pernah nye la..
This week I am ticked off by almost everything in sight.
1. cadar tilam ku yg ku jemur disiram org atas. Nak kna bunuh org tuh. tak pasal2 ak kna basuh blik kan. Da le buat bnde tkutuk tu lari trus tak nak ngaku. Imagine this, tgh2 rilek kat blik rehat tetiba dgr air tersiram dari atas. Bunyi bkan main kuat lag. Cheist!! rupe2 nye ak nye cadar tilam kena siram. WattaFak!!!
2. Ak tak tau la nak marah ke tak kan benda ni. Bus ak TUNGGU dari kul 8 pag x sampai2. Punyala bengang ak. Pakai teksi, Abang, sikalang a, mo peg itu kl sentral pun sudah rm20. ni lagi la jusco. 15 la bang. sya kasi murah. Swine flu btol la. It's like obvious m always going to where i always go and that taxi guy charging some nonsense prizes. Hello ever heard of METER? kami pun nak idup gak.

Oi oi oi!!! minggu ni minggu brape? 4 ke 5? x pasal2 ak kene marah kang x prepare tok public speaking..

Third times the charm..

dalam byk2 bnda ni gak yg ak promote. huhu..
Borneo Cultural Festival atau in short BCF nih cam celebration je. nothing more than that.
Its where people come every year and flock together to celebrate their difference with others. Though I only get myself just the tip of the iceberg of the excitement hapening during the festivities, (I went on the opening during 3rd July and goes back on the 4th) (-.-) still they are very satisfying though.
i posted it like that because i have been missing the action for three years already and thank goodness third time always a charm and i finally get to enjoy parts of the festivities. Indulging myself in the crowd with some mouth watering delicacies. (yum-yum)
nothing much happend actually except there is speech by minister. opening acts by some local choir, dancing here n there, etc2.
this website says much if you are rajin enough to surf internet cos i didn't get to snap any pic.

http://borneoculturalfestival.com/
some info on it.
www.sixthseal.com/events/borneo-cultural-festival
this blogger has all the fun he had during the festivities.
http://borneotip.blogspot.com/2009/07/borneo-cultural-festival-2009-sibu-town.html
here another guy who talks about borneo and borneo itself.

whenever people ask me what sibu has compared to other?
i probably would answer them that sibu is just sibu. you can't say anything unless you experience it yourself. i won't underestimate sibu neither expecting too high of it. sibu is just a nice feel good getaway holiday. Wanna come to sibu?

TidAK!! NOOooooO.. (o.O)'''

Next week new sem will begin.. Tie me up. Bury me down under. I don't wan't to back to kl!!. Sibu... m gonna mis u.. (T.T) Lama da cuti.. Best nye.. lama x update.. kering..

nothing much happen time holidae.
xcept... Gawai, which was hell of a celebration anyway.
In case you guys responding with WTF is Gawai.. lemme explain.


Every year, iban people planted their rice for food. so they plant and yada yada yada..
The rice is ripe during the 6th month of the year. this time they harvest it with friends and family. finish harvesting. one guys had an idea. "maybe we should celebrate this day. especially after all the hard work being put into it. hm..." The idea was first thought to be just a simple family gathering turn into tradition which is celebrated until now. heheh. to put matters into mo precise and simple words. so that i will not confuse those delicate minds.


talk about celebration.. this is my long house..
it's a long longhouse. 100++ families.. Impressive huh..



waseh..

Jauh...

nenek tua si bongkok tiga siang mlam bejaga2..

heheh.. so on the 1st of June we iban people in Sarawak celebrate it of course. and to the neighbouring state Sabah, happy Kaamatan (theirs on 30 july). Sorry me not sure how to say it in Kadazan Dusun. eheheheehhe.. Long story short i always waited for june. it's my favourite time of the year. (till i forgot to update my blog) sowe..

So.. See you guys after the break.. and all..

That Seven Days..

For our special semester programme we are having seven working days of SOP(School Orientation Programme). It was a new experience for us future teacher cohortV IPIK. Lots of things have happened but first sorry for not updating my blog for a longggGGggggg time. To be frank, none of us were expecting what for the sop, especially since it include the preschooler. How the hell we are to do things with the preschool?? We haven't even been taught the methodology of teaching. Nak ngajar? Bahasa pon x btol? after dozens of explanation. La.. it was just observing.. Lega.. btw, the experience was one of the kind. sk bndar bru sri petaling 1 was just simply stunning. they are of course a great school. (Bangga le tu.. (",) kishishishi) people said that pic was enough to tell everything. so here are some of them.

the one in the middle with yellow shirt mama Siti (kitorg kak siti je)

Yg ni.. aKsi memberus gigi.. Dari hujung.. Haiqal, Kar-Q, Raj, N Atikah Balqis. brus smpai putih..

The Quietest of them all.. choong soon you.. Snyum pon nak kna pksa ckgu gak.

Ni nma dia Sabrina.. Sori ye kat sebelah bkan adhwa.. hehhehe Yg sblah alif... playboy kelas..

Wahyi Hidayat.. Suka bwat muka.. Nakal.. Kaya tu.. hobi dia main golf..


Future teachers.

ni yg dtg time tu.. kalu ikutkan kar-q, soon you, n aisyah x dtg..


sekian. Pas ni mesti dorg cari cikgu.. hahahhahahh.. conclusion? Sop open up eyes.. mula mmg xnak.. da cuti pastu mcm xnak habih plak.. kishishishis.. will miss all o' 'em..

Chasing Pavement - Adele

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over

If I'm wrong, I am right

Don't need to look no further,

This ain't lust

I know this is love

But, if I tell the world

I'll never say enough

Cos it was not said to you

And that's exactly what I need to do

If I end up with you

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there

Should I give up,

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up

And fly around in circles
Watin' as my heart drops

And my back begins to tingle

Finally, could this be it

Or should I give up

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste

Even if I knew my place

Should I leave it there

Should I give up

Or should I just keep chasin' pavements

Even if it leads nowhere

Or would it be a waste

Even if I knew my place should I leave it there

Should I give up

Or should I just keep on chasin' pavements

Should I just keep on chasin' pavements

Came across this song. sad song. wondering should she just chase pavement knowing it won't leave her anywhere she wanted to. it's a choice actually. to pursue the guy or just let it be.

came across this cover though. want a real singer go download yourself. Or Tell me. i'll try to give it through any mean as soon as i can.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RhYdQnZ_hw&feature=channel_page

p.s - muka die ad iras vanessa hudgens kan? tap sore die lag sdap.. hahaha.. ak anti high skul musical.. errrrr.... lalalalalalalalalalal..

Toiling The Toll Out Of Exam Which Is Just Around The Corner

Long title post huh? but it's the fact.Tomorrow is our final. WOOT! To recap, lots of things have happened. i don't even know where to start. From the recent scold for not following protocol enough, to the time for going through major hellish weeks for 2 workshops and one important assignment to finish AND not having enough time to take cats nap. one thing i say that everyone should agree on. We have gone through hell and back. HELL YEAH!!(wink*wink hai kyoX) sound repetitive but still i'm loving my "spears" semester. stop dom. no need to go further. ok. actually i just wasted ur time reading. kishishishi. Just want to wish everyone who came across this blog and incidentally having final exam for the semester well goodluck. cohort V after this hell relax. Cos we still have one last level of hell. Then it is seventh heaven. in the mean time have fun studying. ??? fun= study? the hell!!

Being Happy is Just Being Happy.

Sometimes, I wonder. Wait. i amazed myself. How could i look rather happy. I don't know. Maybe i never take things seriously. People could go and say u are this that and i would just smile and laugh with the matter. A LOT OF studies and researches have been done on this state of being happy. And they say that happy could make you younger, happy can make you thinner, happy can help other people. IDK but IMO i can help some of you guys live a large lifelessly life happily with that endorphine induced tranced whatchamacallit state.
1. To be happy you must throw away ur worries for a while. Go and do things that you would never thought of doing. me? I love all sorts of things. Now among my favourite things to do is catching up with whatever sorts of anime in the anime world. To do that you must have time on your own. If you like, what? i don't have time for what i want. I am buried under this assignments/works/books/paper or etc. How dare you asks me to set aside this things. Well get yourself an hour or two to pamper yourself. you'll be amazed.
2. To be happy you must have nescafe. ak jadi promoter nescafe plak... IDK try having somthing you long to indulge at. ice cream/spa/holidays/ anything that requires you to spend money. hehehehe. But to do this you must have company. Yes, company. Company is a must. no ambiguity here ok. Company as in friend. bring your bestfriend/s out and agree on one thing and go spend your money on it. I admit i have done this. Cough cough cosmo cough cough. I admit at first i was a little hesitant. To throw away money is not my strong suit. But i spend money on it. and guess what. It was a worth it experience.
3. To be happy is a state of mind. to achieve it you must forgive. Forgive every wrong your friends have done to you and you feel happier. really? well if you still dwell in that sin that friend of yours have done towards you, you will inevitable feel guilty about it. and guilty is one of the roadblock towards happiness. Hey not just your friends you yourself must ask for someone's mercy if you done anything bad and all. don't say that i preach but never do anything bout it. i have forgiven my friends. thousands of times already. till they get to an annoying point where i think that i could not forgive them, but i manage to pull in deep breath and exhale away the feeling. Best. try it sometimes.
4.To be happy is to be with someone you love. Try calling or sms-ing you loved one. call and say you just call to know whether they fine or not, how life and all. it is better after a few call.

I'm not sure whether this writing has values or not. but to be happy is subjective. you can be happy with the thing but not ither person. another man's junk is another man's treasure. or something similar to that. so if reader want to try my way of being happy go ahead. you might give yourself a suprise.

Cheers

stretch.. yargh!!! look at watch.. Damn! it's 4:50 in the morning. Damn. just finished my part of assignment. waiting for my partner to finish his. Earphone in the ear sings to me John Denver's Take me home country road. country road take me home. to a place where i belong. sings to it slowly not to disturb other people. some are asleep some are with their assignment. open my hood someone besides me. anuar. ok. i'm done. take the soft copy and merge everything. the fan slashed the air making sound. breezy and cold. typed everything out already. done. sigh. cold. can't sleep or else won't awake. late already. way past bedtime. way way past bedtime. one big burden shaken off the shoulder. i survived. first thought. i survived through hell. it was wonderful. tiring yet there's a satisfaction on it. moment seized moment stopped moment carved forever. how beautiful can words be to describe that joyous moment. angel's choir faintly appear. and dissappear. i run mentally and physically. i was exhausted yet i pushed. limit is there. the deep dark hole waits to swallow me hole. yet as i push towards the edge there is still ground. i stared. into the wall. hoping it would congratulate me. yet they stared back like i was a fool. the screen laughed at me. laughed at what i'm going through. they tell me if you had done it earlier. i answered back then it is not a challenge. going through hell and lived to tell the tale. i smile. then it fade. remorse fills my veins. wish i had done it sooner. confused. where is my stand right now. i don't want to sit on the fence. someone can push me down. i might fall and bruised myself. amazing. i can still type. type my feeling into words. limited vocabulary yet they can sketch my feeling. i have done it. worry not. you have done it. you've made it through. i am proud of you. but don't do it again. the same stunt won't be entertaining and they won't entertained you. you have pressed that button you have made that choice. it has been written on the stone. i lay back. the chair comforts me in it arm. 4 hours before the deadline. spend my 2 hour writing my 2 cents. i'm a nuisance. don't read this. i'm being impulsive. that tired unconscious mind have been taken over by the half awake side of brain. waiting like a lion. wait. to pounce on it's victim. it jumped and catched the prize of the day. in tranced. feels like flying. yet gravity holds down. like a bird caged. singing it life away. let it go. past is past. you are done. so are you. we both made it. that freezing hell can't stop us. we held hands together and not letting each other go. i'm proud of us. stop. stop. stop rambling about. it's pure nonsense yet it motivating. my hand won't stop typing. i do not think. i just type. the neuron just do their work. pity them. have to overwork. they are a good sport. want to pamper myself. sleep the whole day. sleep until i bleed through my eyes. sleep till my body fully recharged. they deserved a good rest. heart still pounding. pity him. can't rest. slowly work itself in sleep. good morning. good day.

Ish... Why me?

-If someone says "are you okay" you say?
do i look ok? kishishishi.. yes is the answer.
-What do you like in a guy/girl?
No matter which apple i picked right now all of them have seeds. lalalalala..
-What is your life's purpose?
Searching for revelation, true purpose is not found yet. Meditating and leaving my mind blank.
i see something. i can see it. yes. oh.. I lost it. connection x clear. next time maybe.
-What's your motto?
motorola? motorcar?motorcycle? moto-moto? kishishishi.. Just laugh even though the world is cruel.
-What do your friends think of you?
Dom tu jahat kan.. suka-suka dia je buat mcm tu.. apa dia ingat org suka ke dia cam tu? lalalalal..
good listener? I never tell secrets unless i have permission.
-What do your parents think of you?
I'm the most unnormal children. classic malcolm in the middle case.. Unpredictable. sometimes quiet in a place hiding. sometimes laughing joking with all. sometimes throwing tantrums at everything. sometimes can be very mature and all. In a nutshell, two favourite words from my mother. quote "stupid dog!!!"
-What do you think about very often?
I have a lot going in my mind. But recently i was thinking on wanting to travel all over the world. Watch the romantic sunset in hawaii. Enjoy my gondola rides in venice. Get lost in tokyo. learning to surf in australia's ocean.
-What do you think about your best friend?
they are unique. Each and every one of them. like a fingerprints.
-What is your life story?
Blum tulis lag. wait till i die and i askd someone to write my novel of life and summarise it in my obituary. kishishishishi..
-What do you want to be when you grow up?
when i grow up. i wanna be a.. wait?!? i am a grown up. dunno. teaching le.. can't think of what else. que sera sera.
-What do you think when you see the person you like?
Second best is all that i will experience. Tengok je la that person.
-You dance at your wedding?
i have three left feet i think. i'd be having a horrible disastrous dancer in the world and my life wife will complaint and divorce me that night immediately.
-What is your hobby/interest?
Read, sleep, Comic!!!!!!!
-What is your biggest fear?
Ending up alone and lonely. endlonephobic. i made that word up. creativity is one of language properties.
-What is your biggest secret?
If i tell you I'd have to kill the whole IPIK. I mean it. seriously i think my real parents is alien. whoops.. i told you just now. Please don't tell anyone. please3.. i beg of you..
-What do you want right now?
I want a power. Time travel. so i can zap people away if i don't like them. I want to be a villain. I want to try something that none have tried before but i can't think of any. kishishishishis..
-What do you think of your friends?
I'm sorry not as poetic as prettyinpink can be. But two morphemes (lalalalala) came across my mind. "Thank" and "You". semantic properties? can think of any yet. that colourless green ideas seems to be wandering further in the field aiming the boy with the telescopes by the bank.
Kishishishishishi.. Application of linguistic.
-What will you post this as?
Ish... Why me?